We are from Allah and onto Him we shall return. One of the saddest and in many ways the lowest points for me on the trip was receiving the death news of my Grandmother with just three days into the trip.
Prior to the trip, I had been debating with myself whether I should go or not. Till the tuesday before the trip commenced my intention was not to go Iran rather go Pakistan with my mother. After much deliberation and discussion with my family, it was concluded that I should go to Iran as my Grandmother's health was improving. I left for Iran a day after my mother had set off for Pakistan to see her mother. In my heart I still was not convinced whether I should be in Iran or not and that uncertainty plagued me throughout.
On Wednesday morning, after Fajr I was sitting talking to few brothers on the trip when I was told that there is a message for me from my sister in UK. Instanteously I knew what the message was and so I called my mother in Pakistan. She informed me that my Grandmother had passed away yesterday [Tuesday afternoon]. Incidentally, it was around the same time as my first Ziyarah which added to the uneasiness within me.
That evening I sat thinking about what course of action should I take from here; do I go back to UK, go to Pakistan to see my mother or stay here in Iran? I had asked the Aalim who was with us and his advice was be patient and stay here. I was not convinced though and hence was still thinking that I had made a big mistake. That night before going to sleep, I was reading the Holy Quran and I came across this particular ayat; [Shakir 2:153] O you who believe! seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely Allah is with the patient. This particular verse of the Quran struck me like arrow, I was just lost in amazement. The whole day I had been in this dilemma but now I found my answer as to what I needed to do.
This incident also gave me more insight as to how Allah has a plan and He only wills the best for his servants and sometimes we cannot fanthom His wisdom due to our limited ability. So now with my heart at rest I decided to be patient for what has befallen and to continue my journey here in Iran. It was going to be hard as I had not seen my Grandmother for nearly 10 years and now I wont be seeing her at all till the day of Judgement and I missed her alot but I understood that the station of patience is something which requires letting go of many things dearer to you for the sake of Allah. She remains in my prayers everyday and I pray that she is blessed with the company of the Purified Ones [a] in the hereafter.
May Allah bless her soul and elevate her to the a high position in the hereafter
In the loving memory of my Grandmother
